Knowing and not knowing in intimate relationships
In the extensive literature on couples and intimacy, little has been written about knowing and not knowing as people experience and understand them. Based on intensive interviews with thirty-seven adults, this book shows that knowing and not knowing are central to couple relationships. They are enta...
| Otros Autores: | , |
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| Formato: | Libro electrónico |
| Idioma: | Inglés |
| Publicado: |
Cambridge :
Cambridge University Press
2013.
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| Edición: | 1st ed |
| Materias: | |
| Ver en Biblioteca Universitat Ramon Llull: | https://discovery.url.edu/permalink/34CSUC_URL/1im36ta/alma991009798212106719 |
Tabla de Contenidos:
- Contents; Acknowledgments; Chapter One Knowing and not knowing are central to intimacy; What are knowing and not knowing in intimate relationships?; Why intimate knowing and not knowing are so important; Knowing the other well does not guarantee an easy relationship; Trust as foundation for knowing; The cultural context of this work; How we did the research; Phenomenology of knowing and not knowing; We interviewed only one person in a couple; How we recruited interviewees; The interview; The people interviewed; Transcribing; Data analysis; Validity/data quality
- How much the quotes are the truth (versus just what was said)Chapter Two How couples build knowledge of one another; Trying to know the other; Getting to know one another at the start of the relationship; Previous acquaintanceship; Testimony of others about a potential partner; Revealing important information about oneself up front; Early knowing of the others family and friends; Insight into why propinquity is important in finding a partner; Practical reasons for knowing and being known in ongoing couples; Knowing and being known as intimacy; Curiosity, being nosy, prying, snooping
- Wanting to be knownTruth as a value; Spending considerable time together; Confrontation; Being able to see behind the façade; Feeling safe; Good listening; Getting to higher levels of knowing and being known; Conclusion; Chapter Three How well do you know each other? about 90%; Not much is held back; The 10% that is not known; Experts on each other; Doubts and limits in knowing; How do you know how well you know the other?; After a break-up; What the partner says about how well you know her or him; Predictability of the other; Conclusion
- Chapter Four Concerns about the other's potential reaction to something not yet revealedConcerns when the relationship is relatively new; Concerns with partner knowing about ones past relationships; Concerns about money; Concerns about the others reactions to ones health issues; Concerns about disagreeing; Concerns about the others reactions to ones failures; Concerns about the others reaction to ones emotional pain; Concerns about hurting the partners feelings; Concerns about the partner having contact with ones family; Concerns about causing family (not just couple) conflict
- Overcoming concerns about the partner knowing somethingMaking sense of peoples concerns about disclosing to a partner; Chapter Five What people cannot or would rather not know; There is too much to know; Curiosity limits; Inability to grasp partner realities; Not always wanting to know the truth; Information exchange when a relationship is not doing well; Conclusion; Chapter Six Processes in being a judicious nondiscloser; "Need to know" decision process; Selectivity processes; Tell the general truth but not the specifics; Hide things from your partner that will make big problems
- Hide truths from yourself
